Do You Determine your Beliefs, or do Your Beliefs Determine You? (part three)
Yard'twenty-four hours Kids. So this study on behavior has turned into something of an epic. Let's look at a snapshot of what nosotros've covered so far in parts one and two…
1. Nosotros're all largely driven, motivated, limited, empowered and controlled by our beliefs; this can be both skillful and bad.
2. Nosotros have positive, negative and incidental beliefs.
3. Behavior typically form over a long menstruum of time. From the day we are born that calculator on top of our shoulders is being programmed.
4. They often develop with no real effort, input or awareness on our part. We rarely make conscious decisions near them; they take root in spite of us.
5. They are the result of our influences and our experiences.
six. We know that in certain situations and circumstances (habitation, work, clubs, church, politics), at that place exists a level of force per unit area to align our beliefs and thinking with the majority in order to be accepted, valued and respected equally part of that group.
seven. Having dissimilar beliefs to the majority (in your immediate world), or changing your beliefs won't always be well received. In fact, it volition frequently exist resisted and strongly discouraged.
viii. Quite often we adopt the beliefs of others. We grow into the thinking of our parents, teachers, preachers, bosses. Nosotros don't explore or discover our own truth, we simply brand theirs.. ours.
ix. I like the thought of being part of a group where identical beliefs and consensual thinking is not a pre-requisite for membership. Or acceptance. Or respect. That kind of group appeals to me.
10. We should re-examine, question and test our beliefs to make up one's mind whether they empower united states of america or limit us.
11. Just because you lot've believed something for a long time doesn't mean it's right; it just ways you lot've believed it for a long time!
12. We take an emotional attachment to some behavior and the idea of letting go of them scares the crap out of the states. But sometimes it'south in the letting go that nosotros have our eyes opened.
13. In an try to align our beliefs, thinking and behaviour with the group, we often lose US. We lose our ain identity and individuality, waste our potential and alive a life of frustration, compromise and under-achievement. We don't become the best US we can, we go what is expected of united states of america; we succumb to the enormity of conformity.
So the smart program would be to keep the positive beliefs and lose the bad ones.
The time to consider change is when we realise that a particular belief is having some kind of negative impact on our life; our potential, our productivity, our relationships, our possibilities, our career, our family, our physical, mental and emotional wellness. Changing beliefs is easier said that done, keeping in mind that we are emotional beings who accept been thinking, doing and believing a certain fashion for a very long fourth dimension. The proficient news is that modify is very possible if we're serious about the process and we're prepared to practice the work.
So how practice we alter our beliefs?
1. De-emotionalise the process. The greater the level of emotional investment we have in a certain conventionalities, the more likely we are to be irrational, defensive and even protective of that belief, no matter how much of a negative it has been in our life. The challenge comes in being brave enough to open our mind and aggrandize our thinking to the possibility that some of our long-held behavior may be wr..wr…wr…ong! Scary I know. Deep breaths, you'll be okay. A good question to enquire ourselves is "what do I believe?", simply the ameliorate question is "why do I believe that?" When we find the 'why' then we will detect it easier to change the 'what'.
2. Do what scares you. Of course we demand to wrap some logic and common sense around this piece of advice; I'm not suggesting we throw ourselves of a cliff considering nosotros're scared of heights! But working through challenges that force us to confront and deal with our fears is one of the virtually effective ways to change the fashion we remember, believe, behave and produce in our world.
About of our limiting beliefs are about Us (what we can, can't, should, shouldn't practise, be, create, achieve), so when we face, rather than avoid the things that scare u.s.a., we typically experience an instant shift in our thinking. When you practise something that you believed wasn't possible for you (running a marathon, holding a snake, completing some study, continuing up for yourself, speaking in public), non only exercise you experience a shift in your thinking about that item accomplishment, but y'all too get-go to question other self-imposed limitations. "Wow, if I tin do that, what else can I practise?" When people run their starting time marathon, the biggest shift is usually in their psychology not their physiology. It's like they open up a door to a globe of possibilities. That potential (to practice amazing) was ever there only it took an feel (facing and overcoming a fear) to open that mental and emotional door which had been locked close for far too long.
three. Hang out with different people. Hang out with negative, paranoid, miserable, fearful, excuse-making, under-achievers… and pretty soon yous'll be just like them! Who we hang out with doesn't determine who we go only it sure does influence us. As much every bit possible, spend fourth dimension with people who you adore, respect and trust; people who will empower you, not handicap you.
4. Betrayal yourself to different environments, cultures, ideas, thinking. Some of us have lived in our little boxes for so long that we think the globe starts and finishes at our doorstep. Spend time talking to people you would normally avert or people y'all might consider yourself to have nothing in common with. They will teach you something. Travel, explore, meet different things, practise different things. Occasionally betrayal yourself to things that are 'not you'. Consciously and proactively set yourself to learn new things.
I recently had a conversation with someone who was being very disquisitional of a particular religious grouping that exists hither in Australia (and many other countries). When I asked him which parts of their theology, philosophy and doctrine he disagreed with, he looked at me blankly. The truth was he that he was criticising something that he knew aught about. He'd never read whatsoever of their religious texts, never had a (meaningful) conversation with anyone of that faith, never been to a service and never fifty-fifty considered that the group he was criticising could perhaps teach him annihilation or exist a 'viable' (for want of a meliorate term) religious option. Later on a little probing, I learned that he had merely adopted his ignorant, big-headed beliefs from his equally uneducated, opinionated and intolerant father.
5. Think for yourself. Stop trying to fit in, and starting time being you. Don't be a sheep. Question the fashion yous think, behave and believe correct now. Explore where those behavior came from and identify them every bit a positive or negative in your life. Don't adopt someone else'south beliefs because yous like that person, brand those beliefs your own when you've questioned them, explored them, tested them and discovered them to be true.
six. Piece of work hard to over-ride your default setting. Sometimes there'south a tendency for usa to feel (yep, information technology's an emotional affair) that our one-time, subversive beliefs are somehow more real than the new ones we're trying to install into our hard-drive. Yes, information technology's just a feeling but it tin become a reality when we permit it happen. If y'all're like most people then you will have regular battles between emotional you – the one with the unhealthy emotional attachment to those old beliefs, behaviours and habits – and logical you – the one who understands what you can do and become and is prepared to do what's necessary.
Replacing your former subversive behavior with new empowering ones will exist an on-going (life-long) process. This means being more aware and conscious of your beliefs and how they impact on you lot in the moment. Right now. Not in theory but in practice. Sometimes that will hateful consciously over-riding an urge to conform to a pre-existing belief (fashion of thinking, doing, existence, reacting, communicating), in society to create better results in your globe. And as always, in order to create unlike, you demand to practice dissimilar.
Ciao x
Source: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/do-you-determine-your-beliefs-or-do-your-beliefs-determine-you-part-three.html
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